Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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