She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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