I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize