Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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