my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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