You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
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he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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