Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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