no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you would pick up someone in the library
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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