It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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