It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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