Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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