SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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