my mouth tastes like poor choices
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I am one with the molecules
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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