just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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