you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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