This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think my moral compass just broke
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