My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize