She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
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do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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