What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
where are my eyebrows?
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