Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize