i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize