i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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