Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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