So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
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There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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