Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize