I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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