My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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