just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize