If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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