also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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