Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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