Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize