But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize