Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize