he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize