just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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