Tell her she can't have a vagina
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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