Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize