im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize