Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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