I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
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He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
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What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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