I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
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I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
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Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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