You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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