at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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