OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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