Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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