Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize