Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize