i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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