Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
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I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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